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Onicia Updates - August 2018

Aight, so what have I been up to? Oh you know, just the usual: slapping words together and creating dope art with cool people. Last month we filmed my episode of Pre-Existing. I'm so thankful that Lissette was there to direct. Lissette works well under pressure and she's was so amazing and reading my mood and redirecting my energy. Bruh, with friends like these.
I also said goodbye to a dear Chicago friend. This month's ENTIRE Fangirlin' section is dedicated the talented Ms. Candice Lola <3


Shout out my fabulous collaborators: David Audino (executive producer/cinematographer), Lissette Hall (producer/director/cheerleader), Sandy Lee (actor), Sonal Aggarwal (actor), Greg Callozzo (actor), Kyle Hendrix (production assistant), Ashley Connell (on-set producer), and Nick Torres (production assitant/cheerleader).
That's all I gotta say today. Got something I should see or someone I should collaborate with? Email me or shout at me on Twitter. Upcoming EventsThe Kates …

How to Mount a Play in 8 Weeks - Hey Onicia

Tired of getting rejected by theaters? How about you just produce your own play? If you have about three grand, you can mount a mostly black-box show featuring 4 actors in eight weeks. You can even splurge for a director and stage manager. I highly recommend hiring them since you’ll be the producer, accountant, marketing manager, caterer, etc. You can produce your own staged production for less than money, but I always recommend paying artists. Here are 8 tips for mounting a play in 8 weeks.
Hey Oniciais a series where I tap into my type-A side and answer questions from my friends about this starving artist life. If you find this helpful, share with your twitter homies or thank me with ice cream. Want to chat or collaborate? Holla at me!
SHIT AND GET OFF THE POT
I am guilty of agonizing over scene actions and set descriptions. When I get tunnel vision, I shout “Onicia, just finish it. FINISH SHIT!” The theater is a collaborative art. The script will evolve during rehearsals and the actua…

Vindictive Wordsmith - Just Being Funny

Wanted: travel and style magazine writer. Please write about the Black Natural Hair Movement in the US and Africa (1000 words), African student exchange programs (1000 words), the African film industry with emphasis on Nollywood (1000 words), Congolese culture (500 words), Caribbean travel tips (1000 words), Caribbean travel trends (1000 words), a luxury hotel review (500 words), and an African hotel review (500 words). We will pay you $100. TOTAL!

Oh sweet, sweet internet money. My fingers are ready and willing to be worked to the bone for your highly generous and hopefully freshly forged $100 bill. Yes, I will ignore all my RSI injuries. I will ignore my strained eyes and back pain. I will write these words for you. I will write all nine articles for you in perfect English. This is why I earned a Masters degree. My dream was to land a gig paying (pulls out calculator) $0.01 per word. Forgive me; I’m a writer, so my math is wrong. I need to deduct a percentage somewhere for the tax ma…

Writing all da Words - Onicia Updates - July 2018

Holy hotdog it is hot in Chicago -- like Caribbean hot! This is the summer of adulting; I'm using a coaster and choosing water over soda. Well, I'm not really a sugary drink person, but I try to get at least one when I go to parties. 
Last month, I reunited with my friend Alicia Music in DC to attend IGNITE Caribbean's 30 Under 30 award ceremony. Virginia is so beautiful. I love the hills and greenery. Between enjoying Five Guys, ice cream, and cherry danishes, I managed to squeeze in a salad or three. Told y'all this was the summer of adulting. It's been about 10 (maybe 15) years since I'd been to America's capital. Funny enough, I choose to pajamas that I'd purchased during me previous DC trip. Yuh gyal still got it!
Lately, I've been freaking out about how much I need/want to do before summer ends. I write thoughts I want to meditate on my whiteboard. Andrew Peterson inspired the quote "be kind to yourself." When it feels like I'm …

What If This Stand-up Comedy Thing Fails? - Hey Onicia

Going out several times a night, fighting stage fright, memorizing and repeating bits is not the life for every funny person. Here's my list of 21 career ideas for failed comedians.
Hey Oniciais a series where I tap into my type-A side and answer questions from my friends about this starving artist life. If you find this helpful, share with your twitter homies or thank me with ice cream. Want to chat or collaborate? Holla at me!
Humour columnist. If your life filled with hilarious, true stories? Then, start dishing and make the world chuckle!Storyteller. Great at parties? Then this might be for you. You'll be on stage and you won't have to memorize (as much) because it's all true.Sitcom writer. Doing stand-up is a great way to develop your writer's or fictional character's point of view (POV). Instead of touring and slinging jokes in bars, you'll collaborate with writers to create the next hit sitcom.Advice columnist. The queries don't have to be real and…

Beware the PakRest - Just Being Funny

I’m not a picky eater. Since I spent most of my growing years eating healthy food, I feel like it’s my adult right to eat whatever I want – at least before I have kids and need to be a role model or whatever. However, it’s not that time. This is my time to wild out and eat whatever I want. What I want is a basic burger, fries, and ice cream combo. All day. Every day. Maybe switch it up with a doughnut or two.

Sometimes my friends convince me to try new things. I occasionally indulge them. Usually, my fears of dishes being too spicy or gagging on mud result in enjoyable experiences. 

We decided to check the Pakistani restaurant off the food bucket list. This was the real deal. People were eating with their hands, double-dipping, and adding secret herbs and sauces. They were going all in! The one white couple in the joint were eating with utensils. As the only black person there, I felt obligated to do my people proud and eat like the natives.

That. Butter chicken. Was. Bangin’! I rolled u…

Caribbean Gyal Inna Chicago - Onicia Updates - June 2018

Oh-ni-ni! What's my name?! Oh-ni-ni! What's my name?!

Spring. Summer. Whatever you call this beautiful, but brief season is when the Chicago sun comes out to bless a bish is finally here. June is also Caribbean American Heritage Month. At the year's midpoint, I am feeling myself. Why?

Firstly, my mommy is still alive and will be celebrating another birthday, God spare life. Actually, lots of awesome people celebrate their bday in June.

Secondly, we finally have a shooting date for Pre-Existing,a web series project I've been working on. Yup, don't talk about it, be about it! My lovely friend, Lissette Hall hooked me up with David Audio. This web series anthology, which is set in a doctor's waiting room, features stories by 14 Chicago screenwriters. My episode, which will be shot on June 15, is called Aluminum Coverage. I'm excited to reunite with Greg Callozzo (Oh Baby!) as well as collaborate with funny women in comedy Sandy Lee and Sonal Aggarwal.

Finally,…

How did you build your website? - Hey Onicia

What did you use to build your website?

This awesome question came to me hot at 8:30 am. Nonetheless let me answer your questions. Congrats! You’re choosing to build a website in this decade vs. say, the 90s when you actually had to know how to code like a gawd.

Hey Onicia is a series where I tap into my type-A side and answer questions from my friends about this starving artist life. If you find this helpful, share with your twitter homies or thank me with ice cream. Want to chat or collaborate? Holla at me!
Heads up: This post is different to other “how to start a blog/website” articles because I’m not about pushing expensive super-pro solutions just so I can earn a commission. Yes, making money requires spending money. However, your first time doing anything will be trial and error. Don’t go breaking bank without fully testing if this new online venture is for you.
I built my website (www.oniciamuller.com)  with Weebly. Psst, use my affiliate link for 10% discount.
Why I choose WeeblyA…