Skip to main content

A Gospel Music Battle - Just Being Funny


I have a love-hate relationship with public transportation. I love it because it's an opportunity for me to go outside without actually being outside. People watching is great for story inspiration and dialog development. What I hate about public transportation? People putting their feet on the seats, those who leave their trash behind, and those with questionable hygiene. This one bus near my home in Chicago is consistently a rough ride; ish is always going down. This is not just some delicate Chicago transplant's opinion. My born-and-bred Chicago friend posted, "If you ever want to lose a little faith in humanity, take the [omitted] bus going in any direction. #YouPeopleNeedJesus #WTH."

Between that post and the night in question, another Chicago friend shared how she disliked people who played music using their phone speakers instead of earbuds. I commented, "Yeah, that's so annoying. The next time someone does that, I'm going to challenge them by playing gospel music. WWJD? Not that!"

It's after 9 p.m. -- or as I like to call it 'sketchy o'clock' -- and I'm waiting for this raggedy bus. A guy, playing music through his phone speakers, pulls up on his bicycle. I'm not mad at bikers because listening to music through headphones while riding is very dangerous. However, when the bus comes, I need them to act correct and obey the rules. I don't care whether it's a song I know or what time it is; I'm not trying to hear your weak playlist.

The bus arrives, we board, and homeboy is still playing his music. Problem: he's playing contemporary gospel music. Sure, no one will know that I backed out on my promise of confronting the next offender. But, it bothers me to my soul that he's making Christians look bad. Conflict: do I point out his bad behavior by playing aggressive secular music, or do I keep my original plan and play gospel music? One friend suggested that I find the most satanic music and battle him with it. I didn't feel like that was the right thing to do because it did not help to win people for "the cause." I wanted him to know that he was inconsiderate; he was not the hero in next week's praise and testimony service. I decided that what Jesus would do was have a civil gospel music battle.

I interrupt his Jamie Grace with some Kirk Franklin and his bomb brass section. He responds with some whispering Christian Pop. I double down by upping the volume and blasting TobyMac. Yeah, I got that good Christian hip-hop. Obviously, my speakers are superior and his Hillsong United can't drown out Jeremy Camp's Take My Life. People on the bus are utterly confused. My five friends joining me via Facebook Live are going wild. (I might be embellishing, but you have no proof). Yes, my first ever Facebook live stream was a gospel music battle on public transportation. I sure showed that guy!

No, I didn't. We crossed paths a few days later. He was still bumping his music through his speakers. I guess we can't convert 'em all.


What would you do? Tweet me using #JBFxOnicia


Created on St. Maarten. Based in Chicago. Onicia Muller (@OniciaMuller) writes, says funny things, and enjoys hanging with creative minds. Originally published in The Daily Herald's Weekender, Just Being Funny is a weekly reflection where Onicia laughs at life


Want more funny? Subscribe. Buy me ice cream. Share.
Onicia TwitterOnicia Muller Newletter Onicia Muller Facebook PageOnicia Muller YouTube






Popular posts from this blog

How to Submit More with Hopefully Better Results - Hey Onicia

Are you an aspiring screenwriter who rushes applications for random submission opportunities? Do application fees feel more like impulse purchases versus strategic career investments? Does rejection fatigue and anxiety make you unable to write until the next late-notice opportunity pops up?
Good news! You’re not unlucky; you’re unprepared. Here’s how screenwriters can submit more with hopefully better outcomes – or at least free you from the anxiety cycle caused by rushed submissions.
Hey Onicia is a series where I tap into my type-A side and answer questions from my friends about this starving artist life. If you find this helpful, share with your twitter homies or thank me with ice cream. Want to chat or collaborate? Holla at me!
Don’t put the cart before the donkey Focus on writing a great script and then search for appropriate opportunities. Jeffery Lieber (Miami Medical, NCIS: New Orleans) often advises writers to skip screenwriting contests. Screenwriters should instead move to L…

Creative Growth - Onicia Update - May 2018

When I started this newsletter in January 2016, I used it to hold myself accountable. How can I call myself a writer if my words are never published? How do I call myself a performer if I never stand on a stage? How do I prove that I get ish done (am a successful project manager) if I don't produce receipts? Most importantly, how do I stay motivated if I never revisit past accomplishments?
May marks one year of consistently publishing my Onicia Updates (thanks, LT in the City). This month's letter features more published writings, cool creatives I fangirl for, and a few throwback portfolio items.
I'm not where I want to be, but I'm also not where I used to be.
That's all I gotta say today. Got something I should see or someone I should collaborate with? Email me or shout at me on Twitter. Upcoming Events Here where you might find me socializing and performing.
Feminist Prom - Rebellious Magazine May 19 at The Living Room The Skewer - Cafe Mustache June 6 Louder Than …

True Stories and Faithful Friends - Onicia Updates - August 2018

Aight, so what have I been up to? Oh you know, just the usual: slapping words together and creating dope art with cool people. Last month we filmed my episode of Pre-Existing. I'm so thankful that Lissette was there to direct. Lissette works well under pressure and she's was so amazing and reading my mood and redirecting my energy. Bruh, with friends like these.
I also said goodbye to a dear Chicago friend. This month's ENTIRE Fangirlin' section is dedicated the talented Ms. Candice Lola <3


Shout out my fabulous collaborators: David Audino (executive producer/cinematographer), Lissette Hall (producer/director/cheerleader), Sandy Lee (actor), Sonal Aggarwal (actor), Greg Callozzo (actor), Kyle Hendrix (production assistant), Ashley Connell (on-set producer), and Nick Torres (production assitant/cheerleader).
That's all I gotta say today. Got something I should see or someone I should collaborate with? Email me or shout at me on Twitter. Upcoming EventsThe Kates …