Categories
Comedy Stand-up Comedy

The Goddess Wears Sexy Underwear [VIDEO]

So, the underwear was tiny and blue, and they cut your but in a V-shape and—wait for it— and they had really cool metal swirly things near the hips. I was like, yes, I’m gonna be over here secretly belly dancing from first to seventh period—just sexy time all day long.

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News Onicia Updates

Pass the ice cream. Sudance hated my script — Onicia Update

Unfortunately, the Sundance gawdz read the first 5 pages of ‘Matched,’ and were like, ‘Thanks, fam, but we don’t need to read anymore.’ Whatever, I have 10 pints of ice cream in my freezer.

Categories
Comedy Stand-up Comedy

Cocaine McDonald’s [VIDEO]

I did not realize that all crackheads were not created equal. I was like oh really? And then, I was like, six times in one night? Could you imagine going to McDonald’s six times in one night?

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Comedy Scams Swindles Schemes Web Series

Scams, Swindles, and Schemes — a web show starring Devin Whitlock and Onicia Muller

A friendship web show thingy where we look at internet culture stuff, everyday problems, and ideas that may be more pervasive than you thought. Then we determine if something is a Scam, a Swindle, or a Scheme!

Categories
Stories TV Scripts

Matched – Original TV Pilot by Onicia Muller

The love algorithms predicted Pietre and Irene would be a 98% match. They’re equally smug, frugal jerks with radical politics and twisted fantasies. Together, they’ll learn that they are many things, but they are in love most of all.

Categories
Comedy Stand-up Comedy

The Goddess Wears a Sexy Purple Thong [VIDEO]

For some reason, I thought my thong was gonna slide out my jeans and everyone would know that the goddess was wearing big underwear.

Categories
News Onicia Updates

I produced a TV pilot! — Onicia Update

Happy Black History Month! I PRODUCED MY FIRST FULL-LENGTH TV PILOT!!!! Having a television show that runs for 3+ seasons is one of my big career goals. Filming a pilot is a looooong way from that goal, but it is a major milestone. I won’t share the entire pilot because we’re shopping the idea and seeking […]

Categories
News Onicia Updates

Blast into Adventure! – Onicia Update

Amma be honest with you. Emotionally, I’ve been feeling like a smooth 5/10. Then, my aunt passed away in November, and I dipped to a rocky 4/10. Now that I’m rested and replenished my ice cream levels (Thanks, Donni), I’m feeling like a 5 again. It’s not great, but it’s better than where I was.  So, […]

Categories
Stories TV Scripts

The Wonderful Counsellor — Original TV pilot by Peter Sagnia and Onicia Muller

After his wife requests a divorce, a moralistic psychologist with a struggling practice learns to let go of perfection and relearn the life coping lessons usually reserved for his patients.

Categories
Comedy Just Being Funny

My pastor taught me to dutty wine—Just Being Funny

It was the annual youth revival when good ole Pastor Clive Dottin put me on to the ‘dutty wine,’ now a classic piece of modern Caribbean poetry and choreography. The news, teachers, and preachers think that they be preventing wotlessness, but honestly, 80% of the wild things I googled as a teen were first introduced […]