Wuz gud, homie? I’m twenty years late but I need to get this off my chest. Waiting to Exhale sucked. It sucked so bad I need to tell the world even if it gets my Black card revoked. Chicago Public Schools are closed but the kids are still getting homework assignments via email. Sucks that […]
Did a big chop and now I’m feeling like a big shot. Let me introduce you to my drag king alterego, OniciO. Yeah, double capital O ’cause I’m all about dem boobies.
I can’t believe I waited almost 25 years to watch Waiting to Exhale — is this the iconic film that had so many black women empowered and ready to leave their ain’t ish men??? Well, the film is trash, but the tunes still slams.
Expecting an extension, I lied about my French homework being on a thumb drive. Instead, my teacher said she’d wait while I printed it. Why are teachers so annoying? Just play along with the lie, gosh man.
Being a teenager is challenging, especially while trying to discover your sexuality. Luckily, Caribbean comedian, Onicia Muller has a test to uncover potential gayness.
I was excited about the shared condo with a pool until the landlord revealed ongoing renovations, restricted me to the garage entrance, and “advised” me to avoid the doorman at all costs. Was there a pool? Did he even own the unit? I snatched the key fob and wheeled in my suitcases.
After covering the box office, my boss basically said I could either wait in the freezing cold until closing time or buy a full-priced ticket to stay indoors. Mind you, I’d made her a sale by inviting my friend.
“Spare some change?” What’s gonna happen when nobody has cash? Should I start carrying old electronics, cans, and other pawnables in my purse? Needy, scammer, angel in disguise – figuring that out is a test all on its own.
“Are you Onicia?” I looked around; No one was within shouting distance. “Onicia Muller?” Was this God or schizophrenia? I peered into a nearby bush. If a secret intelligence organisation was recruiting me, I should respond like a Super Spy™.
If JBF was my human baby, it would be a toddler! I’m looking for motivation to keep slinging that funny. So, shoot me an email