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Showing posts from July, 2018

Vindictive Wordsmith - Just Being Funny

Wanted: travel and style magazine writer. Please write about the Black Natural Hair Movement in the US and Africa (1000 words), African student exchange programs (1000 words), the African film industry with emphasis on Nollywood (1000 words), Congolese culture (500 words), Caribbean travel tips (1000 words), Caribbean travel trends (1000 words), a luxury hotel review (500 words), and an African hotel review (500 words). We will pay you $100. TOTAL!

Oh sweet, sweet internet money. My fingers are ready and willing to be worked to the bone for your highly generous and hopefully freshly forged $100 bill. Yes, I will ignore all my RSI injuries. I will ignore my strained eyes and back pain. I will write these words for you. I will write all nine articles for you in perfect English. This is why I earned a Masters degree. My dream was to land a gig paying (pulls out calculator) $0.01 per word. Forgive me; I’m a writer, so my math is wrong. I need to deduct a percentage somewhere for the tax ma…

Writing all da Words - Onicia Updates - July 2018

Holy hotdog it is hot in Chicago -- like Caribbean hot! This is the summer of adulting; I'm using a coaster and choosing water over soda. Well, I'm not really a sugary drink person, but I try to get at least one when I go to parties. 
Last month, I reunited with my friend Alicia Music in DC to attend IGNITE Caribbean's 30 Under 30 award ceremony. Virginia is so beautiful. I love the hills and greenery. Between enjoying Five Guys, ice cream, and cherry danishes, I managed to squeeze in a salad or three. Told y'all this was the summer of adulting. It's been about 10 (maybe 15) years since I'd been to America's capital. Funny enough, I choose to pajamas that I'd purchased during me previous DC trip. Yuh gyal still got it!
Lately, I've been freaking out about how much I need/want to do before summer ends. I write thoughts I want to meditate on my whiteboard. Andrew Peterson inspired the quote "be kind to yourself." When it feels like I'm …

What If This Stand-up Comedy Thing Fails? - Hey Onicia

Going out several times a night, fighting stage fright, memorizing and repeating bits is not the life for every funny person. Here's my list of 21 career ideas for failed comedians.
Hey Oniciais a series where I tap into my type-A side and answer questions from my friends about this starving artist life. If you find this helpful, share with your twitter homies or thank me with ice cream. Want to chat or collaborate? Holla at me!
Humour columnist. If your life filled with hilarious, true stories? Then, start dishing and make the world chuckle!Storyteller. Great at parties? Then this might be for you. You'll be on stage and you won't have to memorize (as much) because it's all true.Sitcom writer. Doing stand-up is a great way to develop your writer's or fictional character's point of view (POV). Instead of touring and slinging jokes in bars, you'll collaborate with writers to create the next hit sitcom.Advice columnist. The queries don't have to be real and…