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Just Being Funny

You’ve been struck by a sleepy criminal — Just Being Funny

I’m in bed when I hear my roommate walk from her bedroom to the kitchen. Now I can’t sleep because I’m wondering what she’s up to at three in the morning. She’s the type of person to “mop” the entire kitchen floor with half a roll of triple-ply napkins instead of using well… a mop. […]

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News Onicia Updates

JBF is syndicated! – Onicia Update

I finally achieved my big goal for 2020: Just Being Funny is syndicated and now reaching thousands of readers! Sadly the world is on fire, and I’m not really in a celebratory mood.  As a public figure of sorts, I guess I should make a statement. Black Lives Matter. That’s it. That’s the statement. Here […]

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Just Being Funny

Authentic cultural experience, my butt — Just Being Funny

Enjoying a three-course restaurant meal is nice. Not just appetizer, entree, dessert. I’m talking about a curated meal and full cultural experience; entree, side dishes, chopping of the hand for skipping the bill. You know, a full cultural experience. We’re at this authentic Pakistani restaurant where people eat with their hands. The food was so […]

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Comedy

Marriage and Murder [VIDEO]

Did you know that being married statistically increases your odds of waking up next to a dead person?bookings[at]oniciamuller[dot]com

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Just Being Funny

Me? Stuck in a relationship? Neva dat! — Just Being Funny

I read a headline: “I want to break up with my boyfriend, but we’re self-isolating together.” Wow. I get that marriage and dating can be tough, but I can’t relate to people who claim to be ‘stuck’ in a relationship. Is your partner holding a gun to your head? I had a friend whose partner […]

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Just Being Funny

Butcher my name and I’ll butcher your face — Just Being Funny

Was the IT guy trying to break the world record for longest small talk session? Well, I had important scumbag temp employee things to do like admire my cute hair in the mirror and drink all the free hot chocolate. Most importantly, I had to complete twenty-five of hopefully one hundred squats before the morning’s […]

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Just Being Funny

Two locos, a pay bus, and a gospel music battle – Just Being Funny

Tourists who squeeze they entire posse in we tiny pay bus does burn me. Hello, vacation is to spend money. “WhEn Is ThE BuS cOmInG?” When your rental coming?! Yuh cheap vacation booking, no budget having, bad tipping modda–

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Just Being Funny

I blocked my child on Facebook, you should too – Just Being Funny

What if my friends died and their child showed up on my doorstep in a basket on a rainy night? Just a full-grown sixteen-year-old. In a basket. In the rain. Because that’s how orphans are delivered.

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News Onicia Updates

Sundance wants Counting on Kendra?! – Onicia Update

After almost a year of writing, Maya Montrell and I submitted Counting on Kendra to Sundance’s Episodic Lab. And, oh my word, we made it to the second round! We have to wait until August 12 (!!!) to know whether we’ve made it into the program. Fingers crossed!

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Just Being Funny

I swallowed puke during my worst theatre experience – Just Being Funny

We were going to see my professor’s play because I wanted to experience their writing skillz. Like, how dare they take thousands of my dollars and judge my writing when they low key ain’t all that good?