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Caribbean Gyal Inna Chicago – Onicia Updates – June 2018

Oh-ni-ni! What’s my name?! Oh-ni-ni! What’s my name?!

Spring. Summer. Whatever you call this beautiful, but brief season is when the Chicago sun comes out to bless a bish is finally here. June is also Caribbean American Heritage Month. At the year’s midpoint, I am feeling myself. Why?

Firstly, my mommy is still alive and will be celebrating another birthday, God spare life. Actually, lots of awesome people celebrate their bday in June.

Secondly, we finally have a shooting date for Pre-Existing, a web series project I’ve been working on. Yup, don’t talk about it, be about it! My lovely friend, Lissette Hall hooked me up with David Audio. This web series anthology, which is set in a doctor’s waiting room, features stories by 14 Chicago screenwriters. My episode, which will be shot on June 15, is called Aluminum Coverage. I’m excited to reunite with Greg Callozzo (Oh Baby!) as well as collaborate with funny women in comedy Sandy Lee and Sonal Aggarwal.

Finally, later this month, I’ll be traveling to Washington, DC to reunite with my homie Alicia Music!!! I, along with 29 honorees, will receive IGNITE Caribbean‘s 30 Under 30 Caribbean American Emerging Leaders and Change Makers. I’m being recognized for my work as a certified dutty rasta head — I mean, “cultural influencer.” Press release and details to follow. Many thanks for Kerry-Ann (Carry On Friends) for encouraging me to apply.

Muy excitico! I know!!

That’s all I gotta say today. Got something I should see or someone I should collaborate with? Email me or shout at me on Twitter.

pre-exsisting script reading Onicia Muller
Workshopping my script “Aluminum Coverage” (March 2018). In photo (l-r): Greg Callozzo, Sandy Lee, Sonal Aggarwal, and Lissette Hall. Thank you for being talented artists and wonderful friends!! <3

Upcoming Events

Louder Than A Mom (Martyr’s, Chicago)
Storytelling
June 18, 2018IGNITE Caribbean 30 Under 30 (Washington, DC)
Award ceremony and presentation
June 22,2018

Published Writings

We invested in the string market. Rebecca handled the money bag and individual string sales. I doubled as security and fulfilled custom orders: giraffes, dogs, and hearts with initials inside. If you dreamed it, I weaved it.
Whether you think I look camera-ready is irrelevant. I am telling you I don’t want to be on camera, and you need to respect that.
JBF: Serious inquiries only! (The Daily Herald)Scammers are humans too. I don’t know Roberto’s life, but as a call center refugee, I empathized with his situation. That said, I still wouldn’t transfer them. Who do I look like? Princess Jasmine? Com’on now. Aladdin might have been cute, but he was still a street rat hustler.

She sounded like someone who likes to talk about it but never be about it. I pulled up close to drop some knowledge on her. This is for anyone who wants to do all the things but ends up doing none of the things.

A collection of satirical essays based on news stories from 2017. My piece, Juciero 101 is included in this publication by erica dreisbach and Tom Harrison.

Fangirlin’

Here are cool things I found online!

You Are Where You’re Supposed To Be (Iris Kirkland Newsletter)
My friend used to say, “you’re where you’re supposed to be.” I sucked my teeth the first time she said it, because some places I find myself in isn’t ideal. But what I didn’t know then and I am learning now, derailed plans are the experiences that helps us to grow.

Ada Cheng: From Renegade Professor to Storyteller  (Womanscape)
Ada Cheng spent most of her life being told where her place was. Growing up in Taiwan, society made sure she understood it was at home.

Depression Made Me Buy It (Breaking The Piggy Bank)
Whether you have clinical depression or not, we all struggle with times when spending money makes you feel better. However, that sort of thinking is not conducive to long-term money goals.

My Morning Routine (Benjamin Spall and Michael Xander)
What happens if you fail? “I don’t worry about it. Mornings are important because they set us up for the day, but if we’re too strict and regimented we take the fun out of them, and life can become pretty dull. As with most things in life, it’s balance that we should be constantly playing with and tweaking” – Michael Action Smith, CEO of Calm

The Predator and the Preacher’s Daughter
A good church girl falls in love with a preditor playa. It might seem like this story has been told too many times but I promise P&Ps Daughter will have you feeling all the emotions. Once again, Suprina weaved a story that was exciting, compelling, but most importantly taught me something about (non)romantic relationships.

By Onicia Muller

Award-winning Caribbean comedian, Onicia Muller’s weekly humour column, Just Being Funny is chicken soup for the naive sceptic’s soul. You can hire her to write anything from blogs and newsletters to (bathroom poetry) funny greeting cards. Join her newsletter for funny stories and stand-up comedy. www.OniciaMuller.com