I’ve been a prolific nonsense talker for a long time. Here are some other stupid (but hopefully helpful) thoughts.
Category: Just Being Funny
The first generation of modern implants came out in 1963. Before then, breast augmentation surgery could be traced back to the 1800s. That’s right, we were blowing up boobies before we figured out vacuum cleaners, radio broadcasting, and electric washing machines!
It was the annual youth revival when good ole Pastor Clive Dottin put me on to the ‘dutty wine,’ now a classic piece of modern Caribbean poetry and choreography. The news, teachers, and preachers think that they be preventing wotlessness, but honestly, 80% of the wild things I googled as a teen were first introduced […]
Y’all know I love a good scam. This one minute and fifty-six-second news clip about two high schoolers living in India who found a creative way to cheat was so delicious, I had to share with y’all. Apparently, two engineering students used an invention to cheat for social science, economics, and engineering. They managed to […]
It was a regular day in quarantine when the former professor of African history Jessica Krug entered the offices of Onicia Pope, Caribbean political fixer. Krug: Do you…Do you recognize me? Onicia: Jessica Krug a.k.a. Jess La Bombalera a.k.a. Rachel Dolezal 2.0? Of course, I recognize you and your poorly dyed, crispy ends. Don’t tell […]
Is losing your partner to cheating really that serious? To me it can’t be because it’s not like you’ll be lonely, you have the person you were cheating with, no? Well, I must be alone in this thinking since movies like Fatal Affair (2020) and others claim that it is. So much of Fatal Affair […]
While vacationing in Europe, my friend convinced me to buy a purple thong and bra set. Why? Because that’s what teenage girls do when set free in Europe without adult supervision. There it was, my first thong: lacy and purple. My buttcheeks were ready to gobble the string like royal floss. Get it, because purple […]
I finally watched Waiting to Exhale. Controversial thoughts in 3…2…1…That film was some Tyler Perry-levels of overly dramatic and corny shenanigans. Forest, I didn’t know you had it in you. Everything Angela Bassett’s character did would land you court-ordered domestic violence classes and probably even lose your kids—the very thing she was fighting for. I […]
It’s been about 11 years since Disney’s Princess and the Frog was released and I’m still upset. No, not because the music was forgettable. No, not because the accents were all over the place. But because Prince Naveen was a broke boi and Tiana should have left him on read. Immigration status be damned. As […]
My coworker with a coke problem—look, if you like the booger sugar, you might catch these jokes, but not judgement. Anyway, my coworker with a coke problem was like “Hey, Onicia. I’m going to visit your island and I kinda, you know, [snort] I kind wanna party a little bit. Hook me up with the […]