So, the underwear was tiny and blue, and they cut your but in a V-shape and—wait for it— and they had really cool metal swirly things near the hips. I was like, yes, I’m gonna be over here secretly belly dancing from first to seventh period—just sexy time all day long.
I did not realize that all crackheads were not created equal. I was like oh really? And then, I was like, six times in one night? Could you imagine going to McDonald’s six times in one night?
For some reason, I thought my thong was gonna slide out my jeans and everyone would know that the goddess was wearing big underwear.
I didn’t use Matched.com because I didn’t want to pay for love. I thought OkCupid was a safe bet but little did I know it’s actually the dumpster fire of dating sites. Thankfully, after telling the algorithm everything I ever wanted in a partner, it found me the perfect match.
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Being a teenager is challenging, especially while trying to discover your sexuality. Luckily, Caribbean comedian, Onicia Muller has a test to uncover potential gayness.