I was excited about the shared condo with a pool until the landlord revealed ongoing renovations, restricted me to the garage entrance, and “advised” me to avoid the doorman at all costs. Was there a pool? Did he even own the unit? I snatched the key fob and wheeled in my suitcases.
After covering the box office, my boss basically said I could either wait in the freezing cold until closing time or buy a full-priced ticket to stay indoors. Mind you, I’d made her a sale by inviting my friend.
“Spare some change?” What’s gonna happen when nobody has cash? Should I start carrying old electronics, cans, and other pawnables in my purse? Needy, scammer, angel in disguise – figuring that out is a test all on its own.
“Are you Onicia?” I looked around; No one was within shouting distance. “Onicia Muller?” Was this God or schizophrenia? I peered into a nearby bush. If a secret intelligence organisation was recruiting me, I should respond like a Super Spy™.
If JBF was my human baby, it would be a toddler! I’m looking for motivation to keep slinging that funny. So, shoot me an email
I was on a dating app looking for lunch. This match promised many firsts: First South Asian guy; first honest short guy; and first charity date. The charity was on both sides – me donating attention and him donating food (hopefully).
Roberto helped a granny board the bus. “Rebecca, you got a dollar?” She was frail, wore thick eyeglasses, and dragged a heavy cart. Yo, don’t butter up the elderly just to beg for pocket change – aim for their wills!
The morning devotional had me on a spiritual high. I wanted to be like Jesus, so I hopped the fence and ditched class. Skipping school to go to the library is like calling in sick to your job for an internship that doesn’t offer college credit.
A warm body to snuggle against, silky-straight hair – winter was going great until my #1 Cuffing Season draft pick asked me to be “more natural.” What’s more natural than rocking your hair as it grows from your scalp?
Obviously, I hated myself because only an enemy would convince me to try online dating. Sadly, I would die single if I kept passively waiting for these raggedy dudes to recognise my Proverbs 31 potential.