I was on a dating app looking for lunch. This match promised many firsts: First South Asian guy; first honest short guy; and first charity date. The charity was on both sides – me donating attention and him donating food (hopefully).
Roberto helped a granny board the bus. “Rebecca, you got a dollar?” She was frail, wore thick eyeglasses, and dragged a heavy cart. Yo, don’t butter up the elderly just to beg for pocket change – aim for their wills!
The “smokey makeup” was masterful except the “smoke” was above my lip and the “makeup” was hairs. Removal could transform me into Naomi Campbell, but cheapness had me looking like “Stache” Harvey. Yup, bad puns for bad moustaches. Since I enjoy pulling my lone chin hair from le root, tweezing promised to be that euphoric […]
The morning devotional had me on a spiritual high. I wanted to be like Jesus, so I hopped the fence and ditched class. Skipping school to go to the library is like calling in sick to your job for an internship that doesn’t offer college credit.
A warm body to snuggle against, silky-straight hair – winter was going great until my #1 Cuffing Season draft pick asked me to be “more natural.” What’s more natural than rocking your hair as it grows from your scalp?
Obviously, I hated myself because only an enemy would convince me to try online dating. Sadly, I would die single if I kept passively waiting for these raggedy dudes to recognise my Proverbs 31 potential.
My super conservative boyfriend pulled out a book about intimacy levels and Christian dating. Great, I love a man with a godly plan. Truthfully, I was not conservative in my corazón and didn’t want to be celibate in my cooch.