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Got paid $1600 for 1 article 🤑 — Onicia Update

Yo, Tribune Publishing paid me $1,600 for this article. LOL, a heaux was ready to retire when that direct deposit hit. Black Friday Sale for funny greeting cards starts now

Although I’m published every week, it’s been a while since I linked to any published writings. No reason except laziness and I want to keep this newsletter focused on comedy and creative writing. Well, last week I got a Google Alert for an article I wrote last month.

Yo, Tribune Publishing paid me $1,600 for this article. For context, $1+/word is considered the holy grail for freelance writers. LOL, a heaux was ready to retire when that direct deposit hit.

Before that, NBC Universal was my highest paying client ($250 for 500 words). But, I guess, American Greetings is the actual GOAT ($200/card/30 words). Anyways, telling you because “Black women are currently paid only 63 cents for every dollar paid to a non-Hispanic white man.” (source) The only way to fix the pay inequality gap is to talk about pay. Also, I want y’all to pray I continue to get more opportunities like these.

Please click the link so Chicago Magazine feels like they got their money’s worth.

An Estate Sale Goddess Tells One Couple’s Love Story

Lynn Rousseau McDaniel staged an estate sale earlier this fall for the family of Claude A. and Etta Moten Barnett. Photography by Nolis Anderson (Tribune Publishing)
Lynn Rousseau McDaniel staged an estate sale earlier this fall for the family of Claude A. and Etta Moten Barnett. Photography by Nolis Anderson (Tribune Publishing)

Happy St Maarten Day!

St Maarten Day will forever be a happy-sad time since my Tante Violet passed away on November 11, 2020. (Aw, typing that made me cry. I really miss my people). Anyway, I wore my vintage 37 Square Miles T-shirt to feel less sad.

My friend Kareem says I sounded Irish in my SXM Day greeting. LOL. I was going for Jamaican light. What y’all think?

Profesisonal Black woman, Onicia Muller riding a horse while wearing a 37 square mile T-shirt
Professional Black woman, Onicia Muller, riding a horse while wearing a 37 square mile T-shirt

NEW Funny Greeting Cards!

According to my time tracker, I spent about 27 hours between October 25 and November 12 producing this new collection of cards. Yo, my skills are really leveling up.

Use code [REDACTED. Join the email list for code] for 50% until December 31, 2021. This is only for newsletter subscribers. I will not be sharing this code on social media.

Watch me write, design, and upload the cards to my storefront. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for more live-streamed behind-the-scenes content around my creative process.

By Onicia Muller

Award-winning Caribbean comedian, Onicia Muller’s weekly humour column, Just Being Funny is chicken soup for the naive sceptic’s soul. You can hire her to write anything from blogs and newsletters to (bathroom poetry) funny greeting cards. Join her newsletter for funny stories and stand-up comedy. www.OniciaMuller.com