I finally achieved my big goal for 2020: Just Being Funny is syndicated and now reaching thousands of readers! Sadly the world is on fire, and I’m not really in a celebratory mood.
As a public figure of sorts, I guess I should make a statement.
Black Lives Matter.
That’s it. That’s the statement.
Here are some funny thoughts I slapped together while the world was burning. FYI, I write these months in advance because I’m an overachiever.
For the curious, I queried over 100 Caribbean publications. Syndication is an accomplishment to celebrate. Many thanks to my editors, Darlene, Ian, and Xavier.
I swallowed puke during my worst theatre experience (The Daily Herald)
The plan was to sit at the aisle near an exit and quietly step out if I needed to. When we arrived at the storefront theatre for ants, we noticed the seating formed a circle around the performance area. Exiting at any time definitely meant disturbing the show.
The hobo try steal me money and me dignity – rude! (Jamaicans.com)
A hug? A H U G?? Ain’t no hobo ever asked for a hug. Most don’t even want food, but he asking for a hug? Susss-picious.
No pen pals, please — I’m on this app for penis! (South Florida Caribbean News)
I should have paid for Match.com maybe then I would have met someone rich. You know what they say; You gotta spend money to catch a money.
Authentic cultural experience, my butt (OniciaMuller.com)
We ordered so much food that, if we ate it all, we’d need an Uber XXXL to drive both of us home.
In other news, creating a greeting card is a lot more challenging than Deb Walker (Purley Zen) and I thought. However, we are making progress. While you wait for our big reveal, here are Deb’s latest creations:
You can purchase the 2020 graduation and the what’s the buzz cards on Etsy.
ICYMI: In other great news, the inaugural issue of The Black Woman’s Latitude zine is now online. You can read Three Litte Latchkeys on page 9.
As you know, I’m a freelance writer for hire. Recently I wrote a fun beauty quiz for ASE Beauty where Idris Elba is the wrong answer. I know! I KNOW!!!
We’re still patiently waiting to hear back from Sundance. August 12 seems so far away. In the meantime, I’d like to congratulate Maya Montrell on becoming a features contributor for The Onion. Me so proud.
Lastly, I want to thank the GOOD web developer erica dreisbach for creating my new WordPress website. Holla at her. She got my website up and running in TWO WEEKS!
Looking for a content writer or editor? Hire me to write snappy blogs and articles or witty social media posts! HeyOnicia[at]OniciaMuller[dot]com
Click the image for more funny tweets.