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Just Being Funny

I blocked my child on Facebook, you should too – Just Being Funny

What if my friends died and their child showed up on my doorstep in a basket on a rainy night? Just a full-grown sixteen-year-old. In a basket. In the rain. Because that’s how orphans are delivered.

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News Onicia Updates

Sundance wants Counting on Kendra?! – Onicia Update

After almost a year of writing, Maya Montrell and I submitted Counting on Kendra to Sundance’s Episodic Lab. And, oh my word, we made it to the second round! We have to wait until August 12 (!!!) to know whether we’ve made it into the program. Fingers crossed!

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Just Being Funny

I swallowed puke during my worst theatre experience – Just Being Funny

We were going to see my professor’s play because I wanted to experience their writing skillz. Like, how dare they take thousands of my dollars and judge my writing when they low key ain’t all that good?

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Just Being Funny

Prison Bae stole my money because duh! – Just Being Funny

He interrupted my standard declination. “I’m sorry. I meant. Can you change this money?” I looked up and WOW this black man had the most spectacular blue eyes. Just imagine Jeremy ‘Prison Bae’ Meeks approaching you in real freaking life!

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Just Being Funny

Nah fam, I ain’t going to jail over some yoghurt- Just Being Funny

The breakfast burglar struck again! I was enraged imagining them stumbling into the hostel after a night of misdeeds and slinked into the kitchen where they laughed at my sign while eating my yoghurt.

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Just Being Funny

Dem mange mermaids steal me birthday cake! – Just Being Funny

In kindergarten, picking birthday helpers was like NFL players deciding which thots to smash in the orgy after a night of clubbing.

Those girls wanting to “help” distribute my birthday treats were aggressive like strippers upselling patrons to the champaign room.

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News Onicia Updates

The truth about American Greetings – Onicia Updates

Last year I sold eight cards to American Greetings. Since then, many of you have asked when my funny greeting cards will be available for purchase. Well, I contacted American Greetings’ Creative Team and basically it takes years before card ideas hit the shelves.

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Just Being Funny

Wait four months for a hug? Next customer! – Just Being Funny

My super conservative boyfriend pulled out a book about intimacy levels and Christian dating. Great, I love a man with a godly plan. Truthfully, I was not conservative in my corazón and didn’t want to be celibate in my cooch.

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News Onicia Updates

‘Waiting to Exhale’ Sucked! – Onicia Update

Wuz gud, homie? I’m twenty years late but I need to get this off my chest. Waiting to Exhale sucked. It sucked so bad I need to tell the world even if it gets my Black card revoked. Chicago Public Schools are closed but the kids are still getting homework assignments via email. Sucks that […]

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Comedy

Drag King: Bigen hair magic got me feeling sexy

Did a big chop and now I’m feeling like a big shot. Let me introduce you to my drag king alterego, OniciO. Yeah, double capital O ’cause I’m all about dem boobies.