My coworker with a coke problem—look, if you like the booger sugar, you might catch these jokes, but not judgement. Anyway, my coworker with a coke problem was like “Hey, Onicia. I’m going to visit your island and I kinda, you know, [snort] I kind wanna party a little bit. Hook me up with the […]
Ever notice that people aren’t what they appear to be? Teachers are dungeon masters, fitness instructors are murderers, and politicians—well, we been knew they are liars and thieves. Me? Well, teenage me wasn’t what she appeared to be. To my peers, I was a grungy girl who wore unironed, oversized clothing that made them question […]
According to HelloGiggles, a women’s lifestyle blog, a new type of cheating has been established called micro-cheating. I immediately rolled my eyes. Like, what is that? Cheating but with just the tip of your penis? Was micro-cheating like cheating but only butt stuff? You know what they say, you’re still a virgin if you only […]
Self-made millionaire Ramit Sethi says the one mistake to avoid when job hunting during the pandemic is to change your mindset from ‘job seeker’ to ‘top performer’. Imagine if a shift in mindset was all you needed to get a job in this day and age. Not hard skills, work experience, or network contacts. Nah, […]
Whomp whomp, our script Counting on Kendra didn’t land us the Sundance Episodic Labs fellowship. How are we feeling? It hurt for a little bit but we have other projects to focus on that not getting Sundance didn’t sting as much. Thankful for everyone who said nice things, sent care packages, and bought me ice cream. Fun fact: American Filmmaker Ava DuVernay was rejected from […]
It was a dark and rainy night when Bahamian Prime Minister Dr. Hubert Minnis entered the offices of Onicia Pope, Caribbean political fixer. MINNIS: As you might have read, Hurricane Dorian hit the Bahamas pretty badly. ONICIA: I did. And? MINNIS: I needed to rebuild quickly, smartly and with resilience, so I hosted the Hurricane […]
Why aren’t men’s bathrooms 100% stalls? Like, what is the urinal? Compared to toilets, urinals don’t increase the capacity of the bathroom. What is the cost of dropping some partitions and giving men a lil backdrop? Don’t it get a lil draftee for y’all? I just don’t understand. Well, one night I woke up and […]
“I ran into my high school bully and had sex with them. Then, I didn’t call them again as revenge.” That’s it. That was the tweet. Whether it’s real or not, I have a few thoughts. First of all, sleeping with your high school bully just to prove you’re sexier than them is like paying […]
By Caribbean Comedian Onicia Muller When I was a teenager, I was dragged to a 5LINX business opportunity presentation. It was the early 2000s and they were promoting their new VOIP phone calling system. Here’s how I remember the question and answer segment going. *smirks in snot-nosed teenager* 5LINX: Yes, a question from the youth. […]
By Caribbean Comedian Onicia Muller We were preparing a presentation about attending a TV show taping. In the middle of putting together the slides, two friends asked to join our group because they forgot about the assignment. Immediately, I was like “of course, no homie left behind”. Why not? All we had to do was […]