News Onicia Updates

Pass the ice cream. Sudance hated my script — Onicia Update

Unfortunately, the Sundance gawdz read the first 5 pages of ‘Matched,’ and were like, ‘Thanks, fam, but we don’t need to read anymore.’ Whatever, I have 10 pints of ice cream in my freezer.

TL;DR: Sundance didn’t love my submission this year. And I’m okay with that.

When we last saw our hero, I was sad because ‘Counting On Kendra‘ (co-written with Maya Montrell) only earned a semi-finalist spot in Sundance’s 2020 Episodic Labs writing program. I wasn’t completely discouraged because that (semi) win bumped my submission stat from 50% to 66.66% semi-finalist success rate.

Unfortunately, the Sundance gawdz read the first 5 pages of ‘Matched,’ and were like, ‘Thanks, fam, but we don’t need to read anymore.’

I didn’t cry as much as I did last August, but I was pretty distraught. I’ve been developing ‘Matched‘ for almost 5 years. I went through several drafts and finally produced a script that came close to the vision in my mind. erica, the good web developer and talented screenwriter even created some dope fan at.

Anyways, here’s ‘Matched,’ my half-hour comedy about two frugal jerks. Send feedback and requests to option the rights to HeyOnicia[at]OniciaMuller[com].

In other news, I recently celebrated my birthday. I’m now 16^17 (only super OG franz will catch that one). I’m proud of myself for sticking close to God, being fearless in chasing my dreams, and being blessed with loving friends.

Shout out to my roommate for buying my 10 pints of ice cream! Read it again T E N P I N T S of premium Haagen-Daz I C E C R E A M. God is real!

Double shout out to my homegirl Maya Montrell (@CarefreeBlkLady) for gifting me a lovely sushi dinner.

Triple shout out to everyone who purchased greeting cards or donated to the ice cream fund. I’ve legit gained 15 lbs. (#Blessed) Your donations help me pump out funny thoughts on command as well as pay off my student loans. Y’all da real MVPs.

Please consider donating to my ice cream fund. Alternatively, you can always shout nice words to me on Twitter (@OniciaMuller).

P.S.: Ziwe Fumudoh and Josh Dela Cruz are not associated with ‘Matched.’ However, maybe they will if we tweet them the ‘Matched’ script enough times.

By Onicia Muller

Award-winning Caribbean comedian, Onicia Muller’s weekly humour column, Just Being Funny is chicken soup for the naive sceptic’s soul. You can hire her to write anything from blogs and newsletters to (bathroom poetry) funny greeting cards. Join her newsletter for funny stories and stand-up comedy.