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Private Dancer – Onicia Update

I’m a private writer,
I write words for money,
I’ll do what you want me to do,
I’m your private writer,
I write words for money,
And any old topic will do.

Should you take a gap year? Here’s what experts say (TODAY.com)
The COVID-19 pandemic has caused many to rethink their long-term plans, like committing to multiyear college programs — especially since forced virtual learning has not led to an overall reduction in the cost of schooling. Instead of enrolling as normal, some students and parents are researching gap year options. […]

Everything you need to know about lipstick and lip gloss (ASE Beauty)
There’s lip balms on the days when we want to keep it simple, gloss when we want the rest of our makeup to steal the show, and lipstick when we’re trying to make a statement. But besides the look and feel, what’s the real difference between our favorite lip products?[…]

So long fur babies, plants are taking over (Curls, Kinks, Culture)
Did you know that seven in ten Millennials consider themselves “plant parents”? That fact is according to new research quoted by the New York Post. To prevent the spread of COVID-19, many went into self-isolation. The extended period at home caused some to really take in their surroundings. Some Millennials found that their homes were not as cozy as they wanted to be. So, they’ve taken to becoming plant parents.[…] 

Vanessa Baden Kelly of ‘Giants’ on Millennials Leading the Mental Health Conversation (Rebellious Magazine)
Grab your roommate. Grab your lover. Grab your therapist ‘cause James Bland’s “Giants” is back on Issa Rae’s YouTube channel! Rebellious Magazine caught up with actress Vanessa Baden Kelly (Journee) for a quick chat about how “Giants” and Millennials are helping the conversation on mental health.[…]

Just Being Funny: Binging cocaine like McDonald’s
My coworker with a coke problem—look, if you like the booger sugar, you might catch these jokes, but not judgement. Anyway, my coworker with a coke problem was like “Hey, Onicia. I’m going to visit your island and I kinda, you know, [snort] I kind wanna party a little bit. Hook me up with the […]

Just Being Funny: Strangled by my panties
Ever notice that people aren’t what they appear to be? Teachers are dungeon masters, fitness instructors are murderers, and politicians—well, we been knew they are liars and thieves. Me? Well, teenage me wasn’t what she appeared to be. To my peers, I was a grungy girl who wore unironed, oversized clothing that made them question […]


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By Onicia Muller

Award-winning Caribbean comedian, Onicia Muller’s weekly humour column, Just Being Funny is chicken soup for the naive sceptic’s soul. You can hire her to write anything from blogs and newsletters to (bathroom poetry) funny greeting cards. Join her newsletter for funny stories and stand-up comedy. www.OniciaMuller.com